Be Aware

I've never known precisely which chemicals or types of chemicals are the source of my persistent reactions and poor health. I haven't really been interested in knowing that information because it would have little practical application. I have no doubt whatsoever that some of my issues are the result of hormone disruptors.

My daughter turned me on to essential oils and their applications. Eden's Garden, the company I've been purchasing my oils from, have been running a series of blog posts about the hazardous chemicals commonly found in cleaning and beauty products and safer alternatives. From them I've learned about the more specific types of chemicals my body reacts to. The thing is, these chemicals are not often listed on the labels of these products - at least here in the USA. 

To quote directly from the Eden's Garden blog on the topic of personal products:

The skin is the largest organ on our bodies and it easily absorbs nearly everything slathered on it. On average, the skin absorbs 64% of what we put on it according to a study published in the American Journal of Public Health. Beyond that, chemicals are more likely to penetrate the face and scalp.

Formaldehyde is one of the most toxic chemicals often included in beauty and personal care products. A report by the Federal Drug Administration found that nearly 1 in 5 cosmetic products contain a substance that generates formaldehyde, a known human carcinogen. The sad truth is product labels are unlikely to reveal formaldehyde as an active ingredient. Instead, the ingredient list might include chemicals that are known to be a formaldehyde releasers such as DMDM hydantoin. Used as a preservative, DMDM hydantoin can cause irritation to the eyes, skin and lungs.

Another preservative, methylisothiazolinone, is a known human immune toxicant or allergen according to the European SCCS. Beware of shampoos and conditioners that claim to be “natural.” The FTC has found numerous cosmetics with synthetic ingredients that were labeled as “all natural” or “100% natural.” As a general rule, if you can’t identify the ingredient list, it’s best to avoid the product. Retinyl Palmitate (or vitamin A palmitate) is a skin-conditioning agent that is banned in Germany and restricted in Canada. According to a study by the FDA, the chemical may speed the development of skin tumors and lesions.

One of the worst triggers for me are perfumes. It takes longer to recover from a whiff of someone's perfume than most any other exposure. Here's the word from Eden's Garden:

Sensitizers, hormone disruptors and reproductive toxins are just a few descriptions of some of the chemicals found in fragrances. In a study done by the Environmental Working Group, 17 name-brand perfumes were tested to find chemicals not listed on the labeling. On average, 14 undisclosed ingredients were discovered, including galaxolide, tonalide and diethyl phthalate. In the same study, EWG found that a majority of the perfumes’ ingredients had never been analyzed by a cosmetic safety organization, such as the Cosmetic Ingredient Review or the International Fragrance Association.

In a separate study performed by EWG and Rachel’s Network, it was reported that galaxolide and tonalide, two synthetic musks, were found in the cord blood of 7 out of 10 newborn babies. At this time, galaxolide and tonalide are believed to cause hormonal disruption and weaken an organism’s defense against toxins. Until more studies are performed, there is no certainty as to how much of a health risk these fragrances pose.

Banned in the European Union, diethyl phthalates (DEP) are very prevalent in fragrances made in the U.S. Diethyl phthalates are used to make fragrances long lasting in perfumery. According to a recent study by a group of environmental and public health organizations, 17 out of 17 perfumes tested contained DEP. Diethyl phthalates have been found to cause endocrine disruption, cancer and reproductive toxicity, making pregnant and breastfeeding women very vulnerable to the use of cosmetics containing DEP. Without lab testing, one can’t be sure if cosmetics containing fragrance also contain diethyl phthalates.

Another area of concern are the products we use to clean the textiles we wear next to our skin. This is what Eden's Garden had to say on that topic:

 When it comes to the most harmful chemicals in household products, there may be none more troublesome than 1,4 dioxane. A number of conventional cleaning brands include 1,4 dioxane in their products to be used as a solvent and laboratory reagent. The International Agency for Research on Cancer named the chemical as possibly carcinogenic to humans. Studies done by the EPA prompted the organization to name 1,4 dioxane as a chemical likely to cause cancer.

Artificial coloring agents are also often added to laundry detergents. Think of the blue laundry liquid featured in tv commercials. The sad truth is research shows that coloring agents can cause skin allergies and irritations and may even cause cancer. Furan and imidazole are coloring chemicals that are known to cause cancer according to CA Proposition 65. Coloring agents may also be responsible for organ damage and genetic defects.

Formaldehyde is another chemical ingredient packed into many over-the-counter household products. The EWG found that the chemical not only irritates the skin and respiratory system but is likely to cause cancer. The International Agency for Research On Cancer names formaldehyde as a known human carcinogen.

That's enough for now. About all I can do is try to avoid exposure to these chemicals, which means staying home and indoors for the most part. Obviously we've cleaned up our personal environment as much as possible. Bringing in new items is always risky due to fumes from invisible chemicals. I do what I can to educate and advocate but most often I'm in no position to be very effective on those fronts. Just be aware, my friends, and do what you can to spread the word. If we as consumers quit buying these products loaded with dangerous elements the manufacturers will have to change their formulas. I don't expect to see a sea change in my lifetime but I have to keep trying for the sake of our children and grandchildren.

Really? Already?

December 31! How did that happen? Oh yeah, about half the month has been spent in recovery from toxic exposures. Even now I'm trying to cope with back-to-back exposures. Granted, they were relatively low-grade exposures but each one takes its' toll. {sigh}

I made up a total of ten pillowcases to be gifted this season. These are the ones I made for the four granddaughters:

My husband, the movie fanatic, received a case featuring fictional movie end credits. One of the bookworms in the family has a book print on the end of her pillowcase. I really enjoy finding just the right prints for each person.

I had to take the shoo-fly blocks off the wall for the time being. I didn't have the energy to pursue other layouts and now we need heat day and night (the wall heater was covered by my design wall extensions). A moment of panicked realization caused me to start work on a baby quilt for a baby due on February 1. He'll be a first child so there's no guarantee he'll arrive on time but it's time to get busy making his quilt nevertheless! That meant a rummage through the stash.

Back in the day I bought this yardage of panels in bright, happy colors and then didn't know what to do with it. Sound familiar? I fussy-cut some of the panels but decided to cut construction time by leaving nine of them together. To bring the panel up to a better working size I added the stripe all around.

I wanted to utilize more of the animal panels if I could so four of them were put in the middle of "barn doors." This elongated version of a Churn Dash block is what I know as Hole in the Barn Door.

I made four to hold the four corners of the finished quilt. Then I went through my 8" postage stamp stars that I'd made throughout the year in conjunction with the Rainbow Scrap Challenge. I found enough to get about halfway around the central panel. Yesterday I made an additional six stars.

The teal/turquoise stars a are a bit of a stretch as far as the colors in the panel go but I think I can make them work. The question now is what to use to fill in around the stars. My LQS is having their year-end sale. I went downtown one day this week but couldn't even go through the door because of the perfume a previous customer wore. Went back yesterday, late, and was able to spend a bundle! I think I have a print now that will work around those stars, and a lot of other fun prints to play with as well. :D

I'm linking up with the RSC for this final link party of the year. I'm also looking forward to playing along in 2017 again, although I haven't entirely decided how I will approach it.

I hope all my cyber friends have had a lovely holiday season. We thoroughly enjoyed our Christmas celebrations. I'm looking forward to a productive and colorful new year, and wish the best for all of you too!

A Day in My Life

Monday was a holiday here in the States so there was no mail delivery (among other things). I was waiting anxiously for the order I'd placed with eQuilter.com to arrive to see whether any of the prints I'd ordered would work to fulfill the "something fishy" design challenge for the liberated quilt along. Couldn't really settle to anything in the studio but I got a lot of laundry and a few other household tasks done. Tuesday I woke up feeling really great. Our mail doesn't come until afternoon so Son and I ran some errands. I stayed in the car and read while he went into the shops. I still felt pretty good when we returned home. That isn't always the case. Exhaust fumes or other toxic air coming into the car is enough to take me down. I keep the air conditioning on all the time in my car to help filter the air. Winter is challenging because I have to use the defrost setting instead and it brings in more of that toxic air. But back to Tuesday...

The package from eQuilter was delivered and, joy of joys! one of the prints I ordered will be ideal for my Macabre Medallion. :D However, along with the package from eQuilter there were a couple of catalogs in the mail. I'd been feeling so good I recklessly, thoughtlessly, paged through one of the catalogs. Mistake! It took a little bit for me to realize that I was no longer feeling well. By the time I poured out half a cup of frozen blueberries to mitigate the effects of the exposure I was really not feeling well. I ate them too late for them to be as effective as they might have been. The evening hours were spent fuming at my shortsightedness, muttering about the sensitivities of my body, and generally being miserable.

Normally I can sleep off the worst of the reactions to toxins. I knew I wouldn't feel my best the next morning but I had hope that I'd at least be able to function. Not this time. It may have been triggered by the toxins or it may have been coincidental, but I woke up with a migraine that only got worse as the morning wore on. I was forced to lay down in my darkened bedroom after applying every possible remedy at my disposal. I don't know how long I was down but eventually I got up again and went into the studio.

Over the past few days I'd done some journaling about current and potential projects. My pile of scrap patches that I use as leaders and enders had diminished to almost nothing and I wasn't in the mood to cut more scrap patches. The last thought I'd had was to cut 4.5" squares and 2.5" strips for 12" Patience Corner blocks. They're assembled in quarters and don't require much thought. So when I started to feel at least human again yesterday I pulled out my white with black prints and cut squares. I was pleased that the cutting went smoothly. There are times when I can't cut a straight line with a rotary cutter in spite of the ruler to guide it! At the end of the day I had enough squares for 30 blocks.

I debated whether to make the strips out of a rainbow assortment of colors or stick to one color family. In the end I decided to take this opportunity to reduce my collection of pink prints. Now I'm wondering whether I'll have enough to do as many blocks as I have planned! I have a lot of pinks but many of them won't provide the high contrast I want. Oh darn, I might have to buy even more new fabric. ;- )

That migraine subsided over the course of the day but I went to bed with a headache nevertheless. After an exposure I very often have a bad night. I'm restless and have bad dreams. That didn't happen this time, and this morning I got up feeling well again. Woohoo! I feel like I might actually be able to get to work on the liberated medallion. And now I have these Patience Corner blocks to use as leaders and enders. Win-win!

I've Been Here Before

Regular readers may have noticed that every once in a while I seem to drop out of Blog Land. This was one of those weeks. Part of it was holiday madness, but only a very small part. Most of it was due to my chronic health issues. They can be such a drag sometimes. Today I finally had to bite the bullet and tell our newspaper to stop delivery. I wish I could convey what a blow this is for me. It's like losing yet another battle in a long drawn-out war. I can read the paper online but I'll miss the color and the advertising supplements and just everything about a physical newspaper (except maybe the ink coming off on my hands). It's been about a month since I realized that by skipping the morning paper in its' physical form I could also skip the daily morning headache. {sigh}

Since "Monkeyshines" there has been another finish but I'm not going to show or talk about it yet because it's a Christmas surprise. Well, I will say that it was not part of my New Year's Eve UFO challenge. As far as the two remaining items on my UFO list are concerned, I'm not thinking about them this week. They may or may not get done before the new year makes its' debut; at this point I don't really care.

With the exception of that one finish for Christmas there hasn't been a lot going on in the Magpie's Nest. I finally got disgusted with the drawer overflowing with scraps of batting. I took out the pieces that were suspect of having polyester content and cut them into narrow strips, essentially shredding them. That didn't take long and before I knew it I was pulling out and cutting up the skinniest strips of cotton batting too. This is what I ended up with:

I'm thinking that eventually I will piece together some of those crumb/liberated log cabin blocks that are piling up and make at least one dog bed, using the shredded batting as filler.

I do have something I haven't shared previously that might make it worth your while to have stopped by today. I've been catching up on my Bead Journal Project for this year. Back in May I was thinking about the cycles of creativity we all go through. I cut my diamond shape, layered it with a piece of cotton batting, and seed stitched all over it with embroidery floss. My goal as I was stitching was to create bands of color to represent the various levels of creativity or inspiration we experience. It may not show well in the pictures but I used magenta, navy blue, sky blue, yellow, and Kelly green. Once I had that step done I set the ornament aside and didn't touch it again until last month. I knew what I wanted to do but wasn't quite sure how to go about it. Then I had that influx of beads and sequins when our local store closed its' doors. That was enough to get the juices flowing again.
. I knew I wanted a representation of the spiral path Julia Cameron talks about in The Artist's Way. It was just a matter of finding the right beads or sequins to create the path. Back in May I was thinking about couching a line of seed beads or back stitching some other small bead in a spiral. Apparently that was too daunting. In November these flat sequins came into my hands and seemed the perfect solution.

I changed out the color of the seed beads I used to tack the sequins down as I worked through the bands of embroidery. The white heart is the pinnacle of our journey up the mountain. As we walk the path we slowly climb the Mountain of Enlightenment. We pass the same "scenery" with each circuit but hopefully at a higher level of understanding each time.

I have yet to mount this ornament on the watercolor paper backing I've been using. There are two other ornaments at this same stage of completion. I'll have to show them to you soon. :- )

Time to Play

I dropped off the parts for the Harry Potter quilt this morning. It was hard to see all my old friends having fun together and not dare to step in. There were many new faces in the crowd too. In an attempt to cheer myself up I stopped at the thrift shop on the way home. I found some fun things (which I haven't pictures of - sorry) but I think going in there was a mistake today. Some days my body seems to be able to handle it better than others. Today was not one of those days. I now have a massive headache and chills. Oh well, this too shall pass.

On my design wall are a couple of blocks left over from the Harry Potter quilt. There were duplicates of some of the Windmill blocks. This one turned out small for some reason. I'll probably end up cutting it down at some point and then using it.


On the bottom in the photo above are just a couple of the scrappy blocks I have going.

Since I'm sort of between projects at the moment I thought I'd try to put together a Priority Quilt for the Alzheimer's Art Quilt Initiative. I've had this set of four Sunbonnet Sue blocks for a few years now. They were made by an elderly member of my quilt guild who has since passed away. I've never felt good about putting them in a quilt that will get used and laundered. I'm afraid they'll come apart under hard use.

But singly, in wall quilts, they could be charming.

I picked one, trimmed it up a bit, and added some additional color.

Now my dilemma is how to quilt it. I don't consider myself a hand quilter but I'm not sure machine quilting would be entirely appropriate. So it's sitting on my design wall until a good idea comes to me. In the meantime I think I'm going to either play in the scraps I received in a swap with V over at Bumble Beans or get out my stripes and dots and see what happens... Or I may end up just vegging out until tomorrow.

Going to the Fair

This past weekend I entered four quilts in the County Fair. Normally I wouldn't have entered at all. I don't like the competitive aspect of the Fair (or quilt shows). But I had three quilts that featured liberated piecing and still qualified to be entered (entries have to have been made within the last two years). I figured if I showed all three in the same fair the whole concept might be more acceptable to the viewing public.

The fourth quilt was my Christmas Round Robin which went into the Group category. It's a fun quilt and this is the last year it qualified to be exhibitied.

"Cosmic Goddesses" went into the small hand quilted, other (embellished) category.


My Fungly went into the medium tied quilts category. I wouldn't be surprised if it was the only entry in that category as tied quilts are still looked down upon as near as I can tell. Or it may not get hung at all as it has been used and laundered a good bit and may be showing too much wear.


And I entered my scrappy Trip Around the World that I'm calling "Souvenirs." I did wash it first so hopefully the wonky quilting lines won't be too noticeable.

I do not expect to see other than Participant ribbons on these quilts when I pick them up next week. I just couldn't resist the opportunity to show the public that there are quilts being made that don't conform to The Rules of Perfectionism and that those quilts can be fun and colorful and maybe just a bit more interesting than the "perfect" ones. (Was that a cat I just heard in the background?)

I was mildly distressed that my body reacted so badly when I went in to drop off the quilts. The building was spacious, and there weren't that many people there at the time, but within three minutes my hands were shaking and I was having a hard time putting my words together. It could be that the gal checking in my quilts was wearing something my nose didn't detect. Whatever. Maybe when it's time to collect them I can find someone else to go in for me. What a nuisance.

What I find more distressing is the malaise I now have to fight. I have no enthusiasm for anything. I did a little piecing yesterday - my 15 minutes - but it didn't really spark anything. Guess I'll have to try again today and see what happens...

I Should Be Asleep

...But for whatever reason I can't seem to get there. So I'm going to share a few things that have been on my mind.

First of all, you may come to visit one day and discover that I've changed the look of the blog. Don't be alarmed. Blogger has some new templates available and they claim switching over will be a piece of cake. I notice others have done it successfully. It just might be time to freshen up the Nest.

Susan, who Plays With Needles, recently showed us what she has lined up for summer reading and asked us what we plan to read this summer. I happen to have a new stack next to my bed as the result of an online book buying binge (some of it bought with a birthday gift certificate):

Well, a couple of those are books I've had for a while. And a couple of them I've already read, at least once. I just finished A Cast Off Coven (which is brand new), and before that Magic Bleeds (also new). I read Clockwork Heart for the second time while I was waiting for Magic and Coven to arrive. I enjoyed it the first time through but there were a couple of things that bothered me in the beginning of the book. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was though. I must have gotten over it because I thoroughly enjoyed the whole book the second time through.

The other one I've read before is Linnets and Valerians. Technically it's a children's story but the writing is so clear and beautiful it's a joy to read. The author, Elizabeth Goudge, takes you right into rural England early in the last century.

I've read Pride and Prejudice but none of Jane Austen's other books so when I saw Mansfield Park on sale I picked it up. I've never read Thoreau either. I'm looking forward to that.

I've only dipped into The City of Dreaming Books but it looks like it's going to be fun. Already I wish I'd sprung for a hardcover version. It could be something I'd like to share with grandchildren someday.

Two of the books in this stack are non-fiction. I've been reading Up Close off and on since I picked it up in the thrift shop.* It's a memoir written by the man who was one of the people instrumental in creating what is now the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum in Tucson, Arizona. I'm finding it pretty interesting, especially since those efforts took place before I was even born.

*Buying books from the thrift shop - or any second-hand source - is always risky. I've had to re-donate books that were too heavily perfumed for me to read. I can't read books from our public library anymore either, not after they've been handled by folks using hand sanitizers or certain lotions (I wish I knew which ones).

Finally there's The Other End of the Leash, written by a woman who not only holds at least one scientific degree but has years of dog training experience and expertise. I don't know that my dogs will benefit from this book but it can't hurt! I'm sure I will find it enlightening.

I am so grateful that even though I can't enjoy picture books anymore I can still read books of text. It's trite but true: books take you places in a way that television, movies, and even the internet can't match. Maybe I need to let one of them take me to the land of Nod...

Moving Right Along...

The lonely puppy hasn't been as vocal this morning as he/she was yesterday but he/she is still lonely and bored. And vocal. Poor thing. I discovered that it is a Black Lab and verified that it's quite young. Maybe when the girls are out of school at the end of the week they'll be home more to give the dog the attention it needs.

While I was out in the yard I cut this first peony of the season.

I just love how exuberant, how big and abundant, these blooms are! I also managed to get the back sewn up for my scrappy quilt top.

Maybe today I'll sew up the back for the quilt I've put together for the BASICS Quilt Gather. The sewing machine does seem to drown out the howling next door somewhat.

With my birthday coming up I had to go to the local Department of Licensing to renew my driver's license. The last time this came up I was able to do it online and avoid toxic exposures. They'll only let you do that so many times before they want you to come in and test your vision though. I felt really blessed that there were so few other customers in the building when we got there, and that my husband was able to go with me to drive me home in case I became too incapacitated. It wasn't awful, but I am experiencing the after effects of exposure today (mostly depression). Unfortunately my own dog has to go to the vet today for his physical and booster shots. That means I will be exposed to toxins again and not be in any better shape tomorrow... {sigh}

I really do try to keep this blog from becoming a downer. Sometimes it just can't be helped. It is my blog afterall, and I should be able to moan if I want to!

Awww...

This just sort of says it all for me today. I've had one of those weeks where I've had occasion to run into one toxin after another without enough time inbetween to ever completely recover. I did manage to get the binding all sewn down on the birthday quilt. I'll show it to you another time, I haven't photographed it in its finished state yet. Mere existance is taking all the energy I have at the moment.

That's my sweet little Sunflower in the picture above. She really didn't want to have her picture taken that day. Her new little sisters, however, were oblivious to the camera that took this picture of them:

Betcha didn't know they made double-sided binkies! (It's not really a double-sided binkie. One of the babies is sucking on the handle.) As they mature they are looking less like identical twins. One may get the red hair so prized by members of my family. As far as I know their eyes are still on the blue/green side too. Both of their older sisters have their father's brown eyes.

In my last post I mentioned we had suffered a power outage due to high winds. The next day we had really cold temperatures - the coldest day in May on record as a matter of fact - rain, and a couple of bouts of hail. Today the sun is finally shining again and the temperatures are coming back up. I am so ready to shuck my layers and long sleeves in favor of lightweight short sleeve T-shirts!

Video: Living With MCS

I just found out about this video report done by a news station in Anchorage, Alaska and have to share it with my friends and readers. I tried to add it here but wasn't able to figure out the procedure quickly so just click here and then click on each of the two screens for the whole story.

It's hard to hear the physician in the story say that MCS is not quantifiable and therefore stands less of a chance of being recognized by the AMA as a valid affliction. He's right about it not being quantifiable because every person with this disorder reacts differently to different levels of chemicals and a different variety of chemicals. Every BODY is different. What upsets my system may not affect another person with MCS. However, that does not mean this is not a real physical phenomenon. Like the daughter in the story, my family members can testify to the reality of what happens to me when I encounter something my body can't handle.

I also had to chuckle when I saw the cat one woman lives with. So many people don't understand how I can live with a dog (two dogs at the moment) and not be affected by seasonal allergies but then am completely incapacitated by a whiff of perfume or hair spray. That's the mystery of MCS. And the mystery is what keeps the medical community from coming to our aid.

Mission Accomplished

Ha! Both preemie quilts are done! I amazed myself yesterday by getting the blocks for the second quilt sewn into a top and then backing and quilting both little blankets. Woohoo!


Technically I could now return to work on Sunflower's quilt but I doubt that will happen right away. There are a couple of major distractions coming up in the next day or two after all. ;- )

Another event to celebrate is that DD has made it to the 30 week mark. whew! She has an ultrasound scheduled for her 32nd week so she and I are counting that as her next big goal. Her doctor would like to see her make it to 35 weeks. We'll see. The prayers and medication are working though so maybe it will be possible.

The current plan is for us to drive over to DD's house for Christmas Eve. We'll get to see the granddaughters (and DD) open a few gifts and then we'll head back home to have a quiet Christmas day here. I say quiet because this will be the first year we will have so few of our family members in our home for the holiday. It's going to be a different sort of day for me, that's for sure. At my age and stage of life most of the fun is in watching the little ones experience all that Christmas encompasses. Unfortunately most of their new treasures will be toxic for me to be around. {sigh} Oh well. It will still be a warm, special day with loved ones. There are an awful lot of people who don't have the blessings I enjoy every day.

Weekend Recap

It's been a few days, hasn't it?! I've lost some time due to chemical exposures - unavoidable at this season of the year. I'm in recovery from one right now. It happened here in my own home too. DH brought home a frozen lasagna the last time he went grocery shopping, thinking it would make good lunches at work for several days. It will. But the directions said to leave the plastic film in place while it baked. The heat of the oven caused the plastic to release fumes that then took me down. So here we are.

I managed to participate in the Toy Society's annual Christmas Drop on Saturday. It wasn't easy, let me tell you! To begin with it was raining. Not heavily, but enough to make everything wet. I wanted to drop my dog outside the public library. Turns out there's no cover to speak of outside the library. Everything is out in the weather! I had no idea how busy the library might be on the Saturday before Christmas either. It would have been ideal to get there before the library opened for the day but I couldn't make it that early. I got over there within the first hour of their opening but even then they were pretty busy. I drove around the block a couple of times in hopes of catching a quiet moment to execute my mission but it never happened. Finally I headed back home with the dog still in my possession. I had inhaled enough exhaust fumes at that point to set me back for the day.

At home I tried to work on the preemie quilts for my daughter's babies. I had decided to try something a little different for this pair of quilts. It's a technique I've used before, so not something completely foreign to me, but I wasn't having fun. I wasn't enjoying the process and I didn't like what was developing. So I took all that off the design wall and wrapped some gifts instead.

Late in the afternoon I remembered that I still had the doggie to drop off for the Toy Society. It had stopped raining for the time being and there was about an hour before they closed up for the day. To my dismay I discovered that the library was just as busy in the afternoon as it had been in the morning. Once again I drove around the block a few times and then finally parked in the small parking lot to just wait it out. Eventually there was enough of a break in the traffic that I felt I could stash the dog under my coat, walk towards the front door, squat down next to the big metal box for overnight deposits as if to tend to my shoe, slide the dog out from under my coat, straighten up again, turn around and go back to my car. I did not get a photograph of the drop site this time. I felt fortunate to have merely made the drop as inconspicuously as possible! Of course I have no idea how inconspicuous I really was. And I didn't hang around to see whether the dog was found right away or not. I figured if no one claimed him by closing time certainly one of the librarians would find him. And in that particular spot he was out of the weather as much as he could be.

Yesterday morning I journaled on paper a bit about my frustrations with the preemie quilts. That seemed to clear the pipes enough for me to begin again, working the way that comes naturally for me. By the end of the day I had one top complete (it still needs to be backed and quilted) and patches for most of the second one on the wall. There are still Christmas gifts to be wrapped, and no one has had a Christmas card from me yet, but what do you want to bet that that preemie quilt gets sewn up before anything else gets done? ;- )

Toxic Whine

I'm not feeling well at all this morning. I was fine most of yesterday. I washed some of the new fabrics that have come into the house recently. (Sorry I don't have the energy to photograph them for you.) Mostly I washed the flannels for receiving blankets and preemie quilts. There's still a pile of regular cottons waiting to be washed, and there's more on the way. Like I need more fabric! RealWomenQuilt is having a sale and I couldn't resist. That happens when I've been exposed. My resistance drops and I go on shopping binges. Well, maybe not binges exactly. I tend to be pretty frugal even when my resistance is down. Still, I don't need more fabric. I need to use what I have.

So it could have been the new fabrics that made me ill. Or it could be that my DH brought scent home with him from work yesterday and neither one of us picked up on it. On Sundays he has to change his clothes immediately upon his return from church to keep me from becoming ill. It's a real drag, let me tell you. (And now you know what decade I came of age in!)

These are the blocks I have left over from the quilt for the Hope Squared Project.


I'm thinking I may sew up a few more 4Patch blocks and make a preemie quilt out of them. One of the pieces waiting to be washed is a sock monkey print that could be really cute for the back.

Today is Election Day here in the States. Don't forget to go vote, or to mail in your ballot if that's the way it's done in your state. We vote by mail here now. I have to say I really miss going to the polls. But I guess in this day of H1N1 flu concerns it may be safer in the long run to vote by mail. {humph} I was planning to drop my ballot off at the courthouse because we live so close to it. Now I'm thinking I may just put a stamp on it and let the mail carrier take care of it for me. The trouble is that I have other errands I need to run too. I'm really not looking forward to going out and being exposed to additional toxins. And the longer I wait to go out the more crowded it will be, thus exposing me to more toxins than if I had gone out first thing. {sigh} Guess I'd better just get in the shower and get going...

Happiness is Hot Water and Bluebirds

Who'd a thunk that having a new water heater installed in the attached garage would take me down for two days? Apparently enough of the fumes from whatever chemicals the plumber used seeped into our living spaces to incapacitate me. Go figure.

For those who may be interested, we ended up just replacing the existing water heater with a new one. Turns out that since we already had an electric tank in place going tank-less wouldn't improve our efficiency enough to offset the extra cost and inconveniences. That made the decision much easier to make.

These are the stragglers of the scrappy blocks I'd been making...


There are a few batik blocks too but I haven't photographed them yet. I had a very pleasant surprise in the mail and photographed it instead.

Remember the Birds of Change Exchange and the give-away I did? Well, others also hosted give-aways and I won one!

These delightful little bluebirds are from Kristin over at kleas. They even came with their own nest! Both birds are made from recycled materials: the bigger, darker bird out of velvet and the smaller bird out of a knit. My favorite parts are the tails and crests made out of real feathers.

Kristin does a lot of different crafts and teaches at a preschool in her area. The kid in me would love to be one of the students in her class. Reading about their activities even fired up my middle-aged brain!

Pity Party

Let me warn you that this post is about my recent adventures with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity.

On the whole I try to keep a positive outlook in spite of my affliction. Every once in a while, though, one needs to let off some steam, let her guard down, be open and honest. Today is that day. It's sort of appropriate because my last post was my 300th, and MCS is one of the reasons I started blogging in the first place.

I went to the local discount department/grocery store yesterday to stock up on some essentials (Green & Black's dark - 85% - organic chocolate, sparkling water, organic beef broth, organic unsweetened soy milk, frozen organic blueberries... none of which is cheap!). I was in that store for only 10 minutes. I know because I looked at the clock on the dashboard of my car as I was getting out of the car and then looked at it again when I got back in. Not on purpose, mind you, I just did. I couldn't believe it had only been 10 minutes, but that's all it took to ruin my day and likely a lot of today as well. I suspect the store had just had its' floors buffed or polished. Having worked in such an environment back in the day I know this happens from time to time. The front of the store wasn't too bad because the doors open and let in "fresh" air from outside, but back in the back where the frozen foods are kept it was potent. At least for me. And then at the checkout stand there was another customer and her son nearby who smelled of laundry detergent. The overly fragrant kind. (In my personal opinion the makers of Gain are poisoning people with every box they make and sell. Tide is another culprit.)

I made a point of going to the store early in the day so I could avoid as many people - and their fragrances - as possible. What I ended up doing was destroying the rest of my day. From that point on I was a zombie. I put my Priority Quilt in the envelope for shipping (and now I have to find someone who can take it to the Post Office for me), and the rest of the day was spent mostly losing solitaire games on the computer. Oh, I did order four paperback books to read but they won't be here for another week at least. I wanted to order Gwen Marston and Freddy Moran's new book but I don't dare. There's no way I'll be able to read or even look at it without getting sick. Not unless I have someone take it all apart and put each page in a page protector. And then the whole lot will have to go into an old, already off-gassed, three-ring binder, probably 3" thick. {deep sigh} But at least I could look at the pretty pictures and read what they have to say. Oh well. I can, in fact, live without it. I'd just rather not have to.

My local quilt guild is having their annual spring retreat this week. The last couple of years I've made a point of driving over to poke my head in to see everyone again and see what they're making. I doubt I will go this year. Two exposure episodes in one week is enough (the art show and then yesterday's trip). In the past the building where they hold the retreat has been safe enough for me but I learned, the hard way, that there are hand lotions out there that are dangerous. Hand lotion! While I was visiting last year (the year before?) someone in my vicinity casually applied lotion to her hands. I had to leave immediately or I wouldn't have been able to get myself home at all.

So what, you ask, are the symptoms I experience after an exposure? The list is quite lengthy. And not every chemical creates the same reactions. Generally I know I've run into something toxic from the way my sinus cavities feel. That's the first alarm bell. Sometimes I can actually detect a fragrance or odor but that has become unreliable. My olfactory senses have been burned out in some cases and I can no longer smell certain smells. I may feel lightheaded or woozy. I may just have an overall feeling of nausea. I may notice that suddenly I can't keep a thought in my head or find the words I want. I turn into a stammering idiot (no offense to those who suffer from speech impediments) - or at least that's how it feels.

I confess to driving my car when it probably wasn't safe for me to do so. My judgement becomes impaired in subtle ways. Often it's not until I get home or run over a curb that I realize I probably shouldn't have been driving. However, it's usually the only way I can get home.

I have discovered that if I eat a custard cup of frozen organic blueberries as soon as possible after I've run into something toxic it mitigates the reaction. Not always, and not very much sometimes, but it does sometimes help. The headache that develops after exposure will not be as severe for example. Headaches are the big kahuna of reactions. For me anyway. They do not respond to aspirin, Tylenol, ibuprofen or any other over the counter analgesic. The only thing that removes a headache is something that puts me to sleep (and I don't think the headache actually goes away in those circumstances!). I have a very intense, dull headache this morning after yesterday's escapade. That's almost 24 hours after the event.

I also suffer from chills after an exposure to toxic fumes. Nothing I can do will warm me up. I get grouchy and short tempered. I'm restless but can't think well enough to sew or read or do anything. Or I can't stay awake at all and sleep for 12 hours straight. I engage in retail therpay online. I play countless games of solitaire. I overeat the few things I'm allowed to eat. It's just a spinning wheel of pain and discomfort everytime I try to go out and be a normal person, and then I come home and try to cope.

The tail end of the cycle is depression. At least I've learned to recognize that that's what it is. When I start to feel depressed I know it's almost over. And I remind myself that the thoughts going through my head are not true, not real. They are the result of the toxins I was exposed to 12 or 24 or 36 hours ago. It still amazes me that mere fumes can make a person react on an emotional, sub-conscious level. That is perhaps the most frightening reason to demand that manufacturers remove toxic chemicals from the products most people use every day. Never mind that there are known carcinogens in those products as well and that people are dying from more kinds of cancer than ever before. Honest to Pete, people, prevention is the cure. For everything.

Not Much to Report On...

I've had so many run-ins with toxins this week that I haven't been able to accomplish much. I find it interesting that I can go along for a period of time without much trouble and then suddenly I spend a whole week practically incapacitated. It does help when I can just stay home, but that's not always possible. Nor is it a guarantee against exposures. It looks like DH is going to have to change his clothes before coming into the house after attending church services on Sundays. Last Sunday he inadvertently made me sick when he came in and greeted me while still wearing his overcoat and suit. The worst part is that I didn't even smell anything on him! Fortunately we have an attached garage - our toxic zone - that he can use for this purpose.

I have managed to make two more birds though. This first one I think I'll keep for myself.



And this one may go to a local friend:



I've also been struggling with the exercises for Jump Start January. Well, working with them. There's a lot of journaling and thinking and trying out new ways of approaching things. It's refreshing and frightening at the same time. I doubt any of this is going to show up in my work in a noticeable way. What I'm hoping for is that the stuff I do behind the scenes will come more easily and in a more organized fashion. I've got to do whatever I can to offset this annoying tendency of chemical intolerance to get in the way!

Waiting It Out

Today is one of those days when I must have had an exposure to something that didn't give me headache but has left me with chills and depression. Or perhaps this is the tail end of yesterday's exposure to vehicle exhaust fumes. I don't know; I get tired of trying to figure it out. I just have to tie a knot in my rope and hang on until it passes.

(photo by Craig Jewell, lifted from Flickr.com)

Saw this quote on Run Away Quilter's blog and had to copy it over for myself:

We have to trust our own choice after all,
and end with the simple belief that what pleases us is beautiful.
Indeed, no other rule is of any use to us,
and if we do but honestly please ourselves,
and make forms which genuinely give us pleasure, we shall find ourselves credited with the power of designing beautiful things.

--Richard Hatton

Maybe I'll go sew some scraps together...

Just Spreadin' the News...

One of our regional television stations just ran a story they apparently picked up from the Seattle Times, and I want to share the highlights with you because this is a real breakthrough for those of us suffering from chemical intolerances. Well, breakthrough may not be the right word. But getting the news out about the toxic and even lethal chemicals hidden in the products people think are safe and use every day is truly newsworthy for some of us. Following are quotes from Ms. Doughton's article in the Seattle Times. (I've added the boldface.)

Toxic chemicals found in scented products
By SANDI DOUGHTON / Seattle Times

The fumes that waft from top-selling air fresheners and laundry products contain dozens of chemicals, including several classified as toxic or hazardous, says a University of Washington study published today. None of the chemicals was listed on product labels, nor does the federal government require companies to disclose ingredients in fragrances, said study author Anne Steinemann.

...Steinemann's study focused on six widely used products: dryer sheets, fabric softener, laundry detergent, a liquid spray air freshener, a plug-in air freshener, and a solid disc deodorizer used in commercial-airplane toilets.

A contract laboratory sealed each product inside a container, then used two types of instruments to identify chemicals emitted into the air... Among them are three chemicals the Environmental Protection Agency considers "hazardous air pollutants" with no safe exposure levels: acetaldehyde and 1,4-dioxane, both likely human carcinogens; and methyl chloride, which has been linked to liver, kidney and nervous-system damage in animals.

...Children are more sensitive to chemical exposure than adults, said Steve Gilbert, founder of Toxipedia.org, a clearinghouse on toxic chemicals. And people are usually exposed to a stew of substances, which may interact in unknown ways. "At the very minimum, we should have a right to know what is in these products," said Gilbert, a Seattle toxicologist who was not involved in the study.

Manufacturers are not required to list the ingredients used in air fresheners, laundry products or most other consumer products, Steinemann said in her study, published in the journal Environmental Impact Assessment Review.

Steinemann wouldn't name the specific products tested, partly out of fear of industry lawsuits. She also said it would be unfair to single out specific companies at this point. A larger analysis, which looked at 25 different products, found many other brands contain similar chemicals. The second study is under review and will be published next year.

...Some products marketed as "unscented" or "fragrance-free" actually contain the same chemicals as scented products -- with the addition of a "masking fragrance" that cancels out the smell. And many products labeled "natural" or "organic" also contain some of the same chemicals.

I hope you've read through this or will at least click on the link to the video clip and be educated that way. If you had a clue how these chemicals affect the quality of my life - and that of more people in the US than are currently diagnosed with diabetes - you would throw out your scented products today and never buy another one ever again.

Frottage

It's been sunny and warm here the last few days. While I absolutely adore the sunshine it got too warm to leave the windows closed and now I have a headache, I assume from poor air quality. That's probably the most frustrating thing about this affliction: it's almost impossible to know exactly what my body is reacting to. On the up-side, this headache is not so bad that I can't function.

I took advantage of the sunshine over the weekend to go outside and do some frottage for the first lesson of my online Studio Journals class. I'd never done this technique before (unless it was when I was a child and I've forgotten the experience!) but it's quite simple. All you do is lay a piece of paper over an object that has some physical texture to it and use a pencil or crayon over the surface of the paper. I discovered that you don't always get what you'd expect. In doing some research on the topic online I also learned that when you rub over a wood grain in one direction you'll get one result, but if you rub over the same area in the other direction you'll get a different look. (Here's the link to that site.) I'm anxious to get back outside and try that.

In the meantime, here's a commercial applique I had in my stash...

and the rubbing I did of it:

I used a Prismacolor pencil to do the bird frottage. The one above was done with a regular pencil. That's the impression I got from the lid of a plastic pencil case I have. Down in the lower right corner you can see two tiny elements I lifted from a cut glass bowl. I now have pages and pages of this stuff to put in my studio journal!

Another Heart

Well, it's been a full week since my last post. What can I say? I've had several minor reactions to chemical exposures. Taken on their own, none of them would have been much more than a blip in my activities. But the cumulative effect seems to have taken a larger toll. There's been a lot of down time. And DH has left on a road trip, taking every camera we own with him. I made sure to get at least a few pictures I could use here before he left :- )

I have done a little more work on my wonky hearts but I'm not going to show you that yet. What I want to share today is this month's journal quilt. It's another heart, this time for the people of Burma and China.

It's 8.5" x 11" like all the other journal quilts I've been making. I used a silk damask for the heart and a batik and a hand dyed cotton for the background. The silk has a chrysanthemum design woven into it. There's a reference on Wikipedia that says in the Chinese culture white chrysanthemums are symbolic of lamentation. White is the color of mourning in Eastern cultures. I chose the background color to represent the Buddhist monks who have been in the backgound of both countries, providing both physical and spiritual support to the people.

At this point I don't have any specific ideas for embellishments. My first thought was clear or silvery seed beads to represent tears. We'll see.