Introducing Gracie

 We didn't have pets when I was growing up. But as an adult I have discovered that I am definitely better off with animals in my life. This was brought home to me with some force in recent days. When our sweet Luna passed away a little over two years ago I was determined to try to live without a dog. 

 Living with a dog has been a real adjustment for Hubby as he wasn't raised with pets either. He would be content to live without any animals in his life. However, he has come to realize that I actually need the companionship a dog provides. I'm alone a lot due to his work schedule and the fact that my multiple chemical sensitivities (MCS) keeps me pretty much home-bound. So I have been on the hunt for a new companion. It has not been without it's ups and downs, let me tell you. If I go into a shelter (because I do not need a pure breed) I will be ill for at least another day afterward. I was prepared for that prospect if there was a good reason to suffer in that way. I filled out applications online for nearly all the shelters and foster organizations in our immediate area. Sometimes I received a response in a timely manner and other times not. There were a couple of potential adoptees that fit my criteria - Chihuahua mixes for the most part. But they seemed to get adopted out to others before I could arrange to see them in person. 

Finally, a local organization with volunteers who foster dogs and cats listed a black and tan "Chi-weenie" on Petfinder.com. She was cute (sometimes the photos of the dogs online aren't the best; you can tell folks have had a hard time getting them to be still) but I was a little nervous about the Dachshund aspect of her anatomy. Turns out she's well proportioned after all. 

She's young, about a year old, and came with the name Gracie. We see no need to try to change that. 😊 And so far she looks to be a very good fit for our household. She's also a good fit on my lap.

 The trick may be to convince her that she can't spend all day there!

An Essay on Isolation

With the advent of the holiday season I find myself feeling more isolated than usual. If you've looked over this blog carefully you know that I suffer from extreme chemical sensitivities. That means the merest whiff of a product with any degree of petroleum or synthetic chemicals in it gives me, at the very least, a headache that lasts for 24 hours on average. More typically I will have not only the headache but also chills, become lightheaded, sometimes nauseous, and suffer an inability to think or process information. My reactions slow, and my temper flares. I’ve been known to unaccountably burst into tears. These reactions are most often short-lived, but they tend to be followed by depression. Consequently, negative reinforcement has made it preferable for me to stay home, inside my detoxified little house, and have very limited contact with people outside of my immediate family. Given that I am naturally a more solitary individual than most people seem to be this isn’t usually a hardship. However, it does take a toll over time, and the holidays can be especially difficult. Everyone else seems to be running around doing things and going places and here I sit, all but trapped within the walls of my home.

While I may be more comfortable in my solitude than others, I am also an artist who feeds on visual and tactile stimulation. Textiles or fibers are my medium of choice. Back in the day I was an active member of embroidery and quilt groups. I went to shows, galleries, and exhibits as often as I could. I loved to browse department stores and craft markets. Shopping, although not necessarily buying, was an effective way to fill my artistic well because I could touch as well as see the delights on offer. The experience of being among other people, even if I didn’t interact with them directly, was energizing. (Most of the time anyway. Everyone has bad shopping experiences!) All of this has been taken away from me - unless I want to pay a very high price for a very short excursion. The brevity of my endurance is just as frustrating as not going at all.

I am fortunate to live in a time when I can shop online. I can still purchase supplies, I can see what others are making, and I can converse with them after a fashion. The challenge for me is that I’m not technologically inclined. If it weren’t for my chemical sensitivities I probably wouldn’t use a computer for anything other than email. I’m not interested in going digital in any sense of the word. In that respect I’m a Luddite. In fact, I still have a flip phone, not a smart phone. While the computer makes it possible for me to stay more-or-less connected with the outside world it cannot replace the experience of seeing a quilt or painting in person, of handling a ceramic vase, or give me the ability to turn something over to see the back or bottom of a piece. It can be hard to get an accurate idea of the size of an object when you only see a picture of it, never mind the accuracy of color representation! The virtual feast offered by blogs and Pinterest, etc. is helpful but often unsatisfactory.

Occasionally, all of these factors combine and overwhelm me. Creativity comes to a halt. There isn’t energy or desire even for mindless piecing. I find that truly frightening. Fortunately, there have only been a handful of times when this state of being persisted. Books and movies seem to provide a useful escape. I just have to remember not to panic, to trust that “this too shall pass,” and ride the wave. I am grateful to have been blessed with the gift of faith. I may grouse and complain during difficult times but underneath it all I have confidence that God knows my suffering and will turn it to good purpose eventually. I just have to "hang in there baby!" 😉

Be Aware

I've never known precisely which chemicals or types of chemicals are the source of my persistent reactions and poor health. I haven't really been interested in knowing that information because it would have little practical application. I have no doubt whatsoever that some of my issues are the result of hormone disruptors.

My daughter turned me on to essential oils and their applications. Eden's Garden, the company I've been purchasing my oils from, have been running a series of blog posts about the hazardous chemicals commonly found in cleaning and beauty products and safer alternatives. From them I've learned about the more specific types of chemicals my body reacts to. The thing is, these chemicals are not often listed on the labels of these products - at least here in the USA. 

To quote directly from the Eden's Garden blog on the topic of personal products:

The skin is the largest organ on our bodies and it easily absorbs nearly everything slathered on it. On average, the skin absorbs 64% of what we put on it according to a study published in the American Journal of Public Health. Beyond that, chemicals are more likely to penetrate the face and scalp.

Formaldehyde is one of the most toxic chemicals often included in beauty and personal care products. A report by the Federal Drug Administration found that nearly 1 in 5 cosmetic products contain a substance that generates formaldehyde, a known human carcinogen. The sad truth is product labels are unlikely to reveal formaldehyde as an active ingredient. Instead, the ingredient list might include chemicals that are known to be a formaldehyde releasers such as DMDM hydantoin. Used as a preservative, DMDM hydantoin can cause irritation to the eyes, skin and lungs.

Another preservative, methylisothiazolinone, is a known human immune toxicant or allergen according to the European SCCS. Beware of shampoos and conditioners that claim to be “natural.” The FTC has found numerous cosmetics with synthetic ingredients that were labeled as “all natural” or “100% natural.” As a general rule, if you can’t identify the ingredient list, it’s best to avoid the product. Retinyl Palmitate (or vitamin A palmitate) is a skin-conditioning agent that is banned in Germany and restricted in Canada. According to a study by the FDA, the chemical may speed the development of skin tumors and lesions.

One of the worst triggers for me are perfumes. It takes longer to recover from a whiff of someone's perfume than most any other exposure. Here's the word from Eden's Garden:

Sensitizers, hormone disruptors and reproductive toxins are just a few descriptions of some of the chemicals found in fragrances. In a study done by the Environmental Working Group, 17 name-brand perfumes were tested to find chemicals not listed on the labeling. On average, 14 undisclosed ingredients were discovered, including galaxolide, tonalide and diethyl phthalate. In the same study, EWG found that a majority of the perfumes’ ingredients had never been analyzed by a cosmetic safety organization, such as the Cosmetic Ingredient Review or the International Fragrance Association.

In a separate study performed by EWG and Rachel’s Network, it was reported that galaxolide and tonalide, two synthetic musks, were found in the cord blood of 7 out of 10 newborn babies. At this time, galaxolide and tonalide are believed to cause hormonal disruption and weaken an organism’s defense against toxins. Until more studies are performed, there is no certainty as to how much of a health risk these fragrances pose.

Banned in the European Union, diethyl phthalates (DEP) are very prevalent in fragrances made in the U.S. Diethyl phthalates are used to make fragrances long lasting in perfumery. According to a recent study by a group of environmental and public health organizations, 17 out of 17 perfumes tested contained DEP. Diethyl phthalates have been found to cause endocrine disruption, cancer and reproductive toxicity, making pregnant and breastfeeding women very vulnerable to the use of cosmetics containing DEP. Without lab testing, one can’t be sure if cosmetics containing fragrance also contain diethyl phthalates.

Another area of concern are the products we use to clean the textiles we wear next to our skin. This is what Eden's Garden had to say on that topic:

 When it comes to the most harmful chemicals in household products, there may be none more troublesome than 1,4 dioxane. A number of conventional cleaning brands include 1,4 dioxane in their products to be used as a solvent and laboratory reagent. The International Agency for Research on Cancer named the chemical as possibly carcinogenic to humans. Studies done by the EPA prompted the organization to name 1,4 dioxane as a chemical likely to cause cancer.

Artificial coloring agents are also often added to laundry detergents. Think of the blue laundry liquid featured in tv commercials. The sad truth is research shows that coloring agents can cause skin allergies and irritations and may even cause cancer. Furan and imidazole are coloring chemicals that are known to cause cancer according to CA Proposition 65. Coloring agents may also be responsible for organ damage and genetic defects.

Formaldehyde is another chemical ingredient packed into many over-the-counter household products. The EWG found that the chemical not only irritates the skin and respiratory system but is likely to cause cancer. The International Agency for Research On Cancer names formaldehyde as a known human carcinogen.

That's enough for now. About all I can do is try to avoid exposure to these chemicals, which means staying home and indoors for the most part. Obviously we've cleaned up our personal environment as much as possible. Bringing in new items is always risky due to fumes from invisible chemicals. I do what I can to educate and advocate but most often I'm in no position to be very effective on those fronts. Just be aware, my friends, and do what you can to spread the word. If we as consumers quit buying these products loaded with dangerous elements the manufacturers will have to change their formulas. I don't expect to see a sea change in my lifetime but I have to keep trying for the sake of our children and grandchildren.

Living With Chemical Sensitivities

I've done it again. Without stepping outside the walls of my home all day yesterday I still managed to run into toxic fumes that have made me ill. This time it was the new Keepsake Quilting catalog that I couldn't resist peeking into. It's much safer for me if I can exercise some self control when those things come and let them air out a day or two before studying the contents. It's rare that I have that much self control however.

The day before yesterday it was my husband who inadvertently brought toxic fumes into my environment. He has a co-worker who wears potent fragrance (a male). Enough of those particles cling to my husband's suit jacket or sweater that it sets me off when he comes home. We learned long ago that it's best for me if he changes his clothes and showers (washing his hair) when he comes home from church before we get close to one another. Apparently he should have done that when he came home from work the other day.

If I expect to be in a toxic environment I can prepare by packing frozen blueberries to eat as soon as I leave that environment. About half a cup makes a huge difference in how violent my reaction will be, depending on what and how long the exposure is. Blueberries make it possible for me to shop locally. I will still have a reaction but generally it's bearable.

I have made changes in my diet that have made it possible for my body to rid itself of  a great deal of the toxins that had accumulated in my organs and tissues. Unfortunately it's probably not possible to get rid of all of it. And every new exposure just retards the process that much more.

Riding this roller coaster of well being and illness is frustrating to say the least. The most bizarre effect in my opinion is that some toxins actually seem to cause changes in my mood, my personality. That's unnerving. Fortunately it's doesn't happen often. Still, it makes me think twice - or three times - before I go anywhere.

Short rides in the car seem to be okay. It's worse during the winter months because I can't use the recirculate feature in the air conditioning/defrost system. Using the air conditioning helps to filter the air coming into the car's interior. When the defrost setting is in play more toxins are allowed in. I can't drive with my carbon filter mask over my nose and mouth for very long because my glasses fog up. My husband has to put gas in my car (I can't tolerate the immediate area in and around a service station) and do the weekly shopping. It's all a balancing act, and sometimes it gets very tiresome. I never know, from one day to the next, how I'm going to be feeling or what I may be able to accomplish. That hasn't helped me to work with more dedication when I do feel good though. I'm still working on that stumbling block. And right now I'm on the lookout for an engaging project that won't set back the healing in my arm and shoulder. Many are tempting but few are suited for my current circumstances!

Hopeful News

This post is not about a quilt or a beaded project. This has to do with that which brought me to blogging in the first place.

Readers who have paid attention are aware that my activities are severely restricted due to chemical sensitivities. I believe this problem was slowly growing over the whole of my life but was pushed over the edge by a specific event involving pesticides for home use. People in my position are practically forced to become social activists to some degree. I receive email notices every week having to do with various aspects of chemicals in our environment. I don't read a lot of them, it's too depressing. But there was one over the weekend that gives me a sense of satisfaction. Nothing may come of it but it reminds me that there are folks out there fighting the battle.

Big 6 Agrochemical Companies Indicted for Crimes Against Humanity

From 3-6th December 2011, the Permanent Peoples’ Tribunal (PPT) will convene in Bangalore, India, to hear cases brought against six multinational agrochemical companies who stand accused of violating human rights by promoting reliance on the sale and use of pesticides known to undermine internationally recognised rights to health, livelihood and life.

Known as the ‘Big 6’, the indicated agrochemical corporations are Monsanto, Dow, BASF, Bayer, Syngenta and DuPont. Collectively, these companies control 74% of the global pesticide market, making the pesticide/agricultural biotechnology industry one of the most consolidated sectors in the world.

The World Bank estimates that 355 000 people per year die of unintentional pesticide poisoning. “The aim of taking the Big 6 to the PPT is to give a voice to the otherwise voiceless victims of pesticides around the world who have suffered as a result of the relentless promotion of toxic poisons by these multinational companies.” Said Nick Mole, PAN UK Policy Officer.

During the course of the tribunal, Pesticide Action Network will invite witnesses including scientists, medical doctors, and lawyers, to prove the charges through expert testimony on pesticides, genetic engineering, intellectual property rights, and other subjects germane to the cases at hand. The PPT will also hear testimony from farmers, farm workers, beekeepers, mothers, young people, scientists and consumers from around the world. The defendants will be served and summoned to offer their perspectives and responses.

Also under indictment are the International Monetary Fund, World Bank, and World Trade Organisation; these entities are charged with facilitating corporate concentration of power through their policies and programs. Additionally, the governments of Switzerland, Germany, and the United States – the home nations of six defendant companies – have been indicted for colluding with, and failing to regulate, corporate power.

The verdict from the hearing will be given on 6th December.

Using Up Leftovers

Kind of ironic that after I posted the link to the NY Times photo essay about folks living with MCS I had a really bad week physically. There was just one toxic exposure after another, and unavoidable for the most part. It gets discouraging. I appreciate the support I've received from my blogging friends.

You may remember that I recently purchased a new sewing machine. It would have been too much to expect that Phoebe's bobbins would fit Ruby Blue (even though they are both from the Pfaff family). One thing I managed to do in the last week was to start sewing together 1.5" strips using the thread on the old bobbins for those short seams.



It was restful to sit and sew mindlessly while I chain pieced the strips in pairs.

And then the whole lot went to the ironing board.

I've been cutting my strips to 12.5" in length. I'm not sure I'm going to sew them into 12" blocks though. It didn't occur to me at first that it would take 12 strips to make a 12" block (duh!). When that finally dawned on me it didn't sound like so much fun. Since then I've had an idea to use columns of three or four as vertical sashing in a strippy set quilt.

Since these were pieced I found another stash of 1.5" strips I'd forgotten about. I still don't have much of a brain for creative problem solving so I'll probably keep emptying bobbins and add these growing piles to my Parts Department for future use. I'm going to have to find an appropriate container to keep them in though, so they can be put out of the way when my brain finally kicks back into gear. ;- )

NY Times Photo Essay

This is a beautiful photo essay about what it can be like to live with chemical sensitivities. I encourage you to take a few minutes from your busy day to see how some of us spend our days.

Canaries by Thilde Jensen

I can't imagine having to live outside year round. I'm too sensitive to wood smoke and it would be hard to find a place completely free of drifting particulates.

I can't even wear the masks you see in some of the photos because my body reacts to the materials they are made from. When I go out I wear a mask like you see in pictures 9 and 14, with two carbon filters inside it. Rarely does it completely protect me from the effects of the fumes and vapors in our environment.

I'm grateful that I don't have to go the extremes that some folks do in order to sustain life. I'm grateful that I'm not sensitive to electromagnetic fields in addition to everything else. I'm grateful that my husband understands and supports me both emotionally and financially. I'm grateful that he has a reasonably secure job. We have health insurance but it doesn't cover any of the medicines I take or the specialists I visit on occasion. Compared to many I'm very fortunate indeed so I try not to complain.

If you haven't already clicked on the link above I hope you will do so now. And feel free to spread the word. For that matter, refuse to buy artificially scented products. At least that would be a step in the right direction.

Sunshine and Shadows

We've had a few days of lovely sunshine lately. In spite of that I've haven't been at the top of my game. Pictures of what I've sewn are still in the camera and I don't have the energy to download and tweak them. I do, however, have pictures of a couple of quilts my friend C~ created recently. This first one was made of orphan blocks and bits. I believe it all began with the giant turtle at the top of the quilt.


She found a couple of other turtle blocks; they have 3D heads and feet. There's a house block and a little triangular chicken. Lots of fun things for a child to enjoy. :- )

She also left this small crazy quilt with me to bind.


I found the perfect fabric to use for the binding too. It's a stripey print with oranges and purples in it. The binding is on, the quilt is ready to be returned to C~, but I don't believe I have a shot of the finished product. Gotta do that before she comes to collect it! She gave me some scraps from this quilt; they will be fun to play with when I'm feeling more the thing. Which brings me to the shadows part of this post. Feel free to exit stage right (or left, depending on your preference) at this point.

I get so frustrated when my body shuts down like this. I ran into the slightest bit of fragrance and now I'm barely functioning. It nearly always begins with a burning sensation in my sinuses. That turns into an intense headache that no ordinary analgesic will tame. Many hours later I'm lethargic and slightly-to-moderately depressed. I know that the depression is a direct result of chemical exposure, not merely sadness or discouragement - although there are elements of both of those emotions present. I've paid close attention over the years since I was made aware of the potential effects of chemicals on sensitive systems. I now suspect that the depression I suffered for years before the MCS diagnosis was actually chemically induced a lot of the time. There were other challenges in my life of course, everyone has them, but I bet they would not have been the mountains they were had I not been suffering from serious chemical exposures on a daily basis.

My intention is not to be a downer but rather to try to educate anyone who may be reading this post on the prevalence and the powerful effects of the miasma of chemicals in our environment. The simplest, most innocent products can contain toxic elements. Rarely will you find any ingredients listed on a label. Consumers have no way to protect themselves or their families in most cases, short of just not buying the products (which is pretty much what I've had to resort to). It's totally a case of "let the buyer beware" but in this busy world who has the time to do the research? Who even wants to? I sure don't. And I wouldn't if I weren't forced into it. Just know that the lotion you slather on your skin, the shampoo you use in your hair, the perfume you put on your body, the cleaning agents and fragrances you use in your home all have toxic ingredients. Your body absorbs them and over time they build up. Some of them cause cancer. If you're lucky your liver and other organs are able to process them appropriately. My liver can't even process the low levels of these toxins so I have to be extra careful. And I suffer whenever I'm not able to adequately protect myself.

Hopefully what I'm experiencing now will have passed by the end of this day and I'll have my energy and enthusiasm back tomorrow. There is much in my world to rejoice over and I want to share those things with you more than I want to share my misery. Again, my only goal in sharing my misery is to enlighten and educate to the best of my limited abilities. If you've hung in with me this far I thank you and I hope you benefit somehow from my experiences.

Moving Right Along...

The lonely puppy hasn't been as vocal this morning as he/she was yesterday but he/she is still lonely and bored. And vocal. Poor thing. I discovered that it is a Black Lab and verified that it's quite young. Maybe when the girls are out of school at the end of the week they'll be home more to give the dog the attention it needs.

While I was out in the yard I cut this first peony of the season.

I just love how exuberant, how big and abundant, these blooms are! I also managed to get the back sewn up for my scrappy quilt top.

Maybe today I'll sew up the back for the quilt I've put together for the BASICS Quilt Gather. The sewing machine does seem to drown out the howling next door somewhat.

With my birthday coming up I had to go to the local Department of Licensing to renew my driver's license. The last time this came up I was able to do it online and avoid toxic exposures. They'll only let you do that so many times before they want you to come in and test your vision though. I felt really blessed that there were so few other customers in the building when we got there, and that my husband was able to go with me to drive me home in case I became too incapacitated. It wasn't awful, but I am experiencing the after effects of exposure today (mostly depression). Unfortunately my own dog has to go to the vet today for his physical and booster shots. That means I will be exposed to toxins again and not be in any better shape tomorrow... {sigh}

I really do try to keep this blog from becoming a downer. Sometimes it just can't be helped. It is my blog afterall, and I should be able to moan if I want to!

Video: Living With MCS

I just found out about this video report done by a news station in Anchorage, Alaska and have to share it with my friends and readers. I tried to add it here but wasn't able to figure out the procedure quickly so just click here and then click on each of the two screens for the whole story.

It's hard to hear the physician in the story say that MCS is not quantifiable and therefore stands less of a chance of being recognized by the AMA as a valid affliction. He's right about it not being quantifiable because every person with this disorder reacts differently to different levels of chemicals and a different variety of chemicals. Every BODY is different. What upsets my system may not affect another person with MCS. However, that does not mean this is not a real physical phenomenon. Like the daughter in the story, my family members can testify to the reality of what happens to me when I encounter something my body can't handle.

I also had to chuckle when I saw the cat one woman lives with. So many people don't understand how I can live with a dog (two dogs at the moment) and not be affected by seasonal allergies but then am completely incapacitated by a whiff of perfume or hair spray. That's the mystery of MCS. And the mystery is what keeps the medical community from coming to our aid.

The Next Chapter

I'm back already because there has been a new development in the saga of the "big girl" quilt for DGD #2. But first let me show you how the preemie top came together:

"Teddy Bears in the Park." You should be able to click on the picture to get a better look. I really like the way the border print echoes both the burgundies and the pinks in the crumb blocks. It still needs to be backed and quilted but that will have to wait for another day.

Now, back to the saga of the quilt for DGD. (I really need to figure out how to refer to each of my grandchildren individually since there will be four of them in a few months.) The butterfly print was just too overwhelming as a background fabric as you can see in the lower left block below.

I went to two shops yesterday, looking for suitable background options, and struck out on both counts. Which is not to imply that I bought no fabric at all (perish the thought!). I brought home two pieces that I thought I might be able to make work... and some other stuff that was just too fun to leave in the store. ;- ) (Sorry, no pictures.)

Hours later I was able to have a nice long conversation with my daughter, mother to all of the children in this story. She reminded me that the animal panels she provided...

...had been purchased when DGD #2 was a baby. Which may be why she thought it would be appropriate to include them in her big girl quilt. But it was the infantile quality of the artwork that made it so hard for me to include it in a big girl quilt for this child. She's not a baby anymore!

DD had told me more than once that I didn't have to use the animal panels in DGD's quilt but I felt compelled to do so. Until we came to the conclusion yesterday afternoon that I could use the animals in a pair of baby quilts for the twins that are now on their way. Perfect! DD gets to have the cute animals in quilts and I get to make a quilt that I feel is more appropriate for a toddler growing rapidly into a preschooler and beyond. The question now is, what in the world am I going to make for her?!

Oh, and in a happy aside, I took a container of frozen blueberries with me when I went shopping so I could consume them immediately after running into toxic vapors. I've learned that, for whatever reason, frozen blueberries have the power to mitigate the severity of my reactions. It worked pretty well yesterday. I still had symptoms of exposure afterward but it could have been so much worse.

Toxic Whine

I'm not feeling well at all this morning. I was fine most of yesterday. I washed some of the new fabrics that have come into the house recently. (Sorry I don't have the energy to photograph them for you.) Mostly I washed the flannels for receiving blankets and preemie quilts. There's still a pile of regular cottons waiting to be washed, and there's more on the way. Like I need more fabric! RealWomenQuilt is having a sale and I couldn't resist. That happens when I've been exposed. My resistance drops and I go on shopping binges. Well, maybe not binges exactly. I tend to be pretty frugal even when my resistance is down. Still, I don't need more fabric. I need to use what I have.

So it could have been the new fabrics that made me ill. Or it could be that my DH brought scent home with him from work yesterday and neither one of us picked up on it. On Sundays he has to change his clothes immediately upon his return from church to keep me from becoming ill. It's a real drag, let me tell you. (And now you know what decade I came of age in!)

These are the blocks I have left over from the quilt for the Hope Squared Project.


I'm thinking I may sew up a few more 4Patch blocks and make a preemie quilt out of them. One of the pieces waiting to be washed is a sock monkey print that could be really cute for the back.

Today is Election Day here in the States. Don't forget to go vote, or to mail in your ballot if that's the way it's done in your state. We vote by mail here now. I have to say I really miss going to the polls. But I guess in this day of H1N1 flu concerns it may be safer in the long run to vote by mail. {humph} I was planning to drop my ballot off at the courthouse because we live so close to it. Now I'm thinking I may just put a stamp on it and let the mail carrier take care of it for me. The trouble is that I have other errands I need to run too. I'm really not looking forward to going out and being exposed to additional toxins. And the longer I wait to go out the more crowded it will be, thus exposing me to more toxins than if I had gone out first thing. {sigh} Guess I'd better just get in the shower and get going...

Retail Therapy

I'm happy to report that my trip to the Post Office to mail my box for IBOL did not have the devastating effect I feared it might. Hurray! I went to bed with a fairly intense headache but felt much improved this morning. I've noticed a pattern to my recoveries and, interestingly enough, retail therapy is usually a part of it. (No surprise, chocolate is too.)

After a trip to toxic places I eat a custard cup of frozen blueberries as soon as I can. This seems to mitigate the severity of any reactions I may have. And frozen berries are more effective than fresh for some reason. It doesn't work every time but it works often enough that I now make sure there's always at least one package of frozen blueberries on hand.


Once I've run the gamut of whatever physical reactions I'm going to have - which may take anywhere from 12 to 48 hours - the next phase involves a slump in my mood. This can be mild or quite severe. As I climb back up to something approaching normal I very often find myself online, shopping. If it's not books, dvd's, or music at Amazon.com I'm checking out the sale categories at eQuilter.com. Most recently I went shopping for sequins in the hopes of finding something I could use on my parrot piece (scroll down about halfway). These came from Cartwright's:

Meanwhile, my LQS is having a sale on their clearance bolts. I stopped in there today on my way home from the food co-op to check it out. Unfortunately the air was pretty bad this time. That made it very challenging for me to make any decisions. But I managed to come home with these pieces anyway. :- )

The stars may become the backing of the "big girl quilt" I'm supposed to be making for my youngest granddaughter. The green was just too good to pass up. The pink and the blue with purple dots are fat quarters that were not on sale. Honestly, if I could afford it I would have a piece of nearly everything in that store!

Good & Bad

I figured I'd better check in this morning while I'm still in good enough shape to do so. We are having a new dishwasher installed this afternoon and there's no telling what that's going to do to me. Hopefully it won't be a big deal. Unfortunately, experience has taught me to expect otherwise.

About 10 days ago our old dishwasher, the one that came with the house when we moved in, leaked and flooded the kitchen floor. I've never been happy with that machine - it's hard to load and never did a very good job getting the dishes clean in my opinion - so my Dear Husband said we could just replace it rather than repair it. Woohoo! He went out and found a floor model last Saturday. Although it may have off-gassed some sitting on the showroom floor it has never, to my knowledge, been run. Once all that hot water hits the new plastics or vinyl or whatever in the interior of the machine I'm sure there will be fumes released into my otherwise safe environment. But today it will be the fragrances that the installation technicians carry in on their persons that is my main concern. I didn't know they were coming early enough to be able to ask them to forego any colognes, aftershaves, strongly scented deodorants, etc. so it will be a crap shoot. Let's just say I'm not likely to come out the winner.

So until next time, whenever that may be, let me show you the bit of progress I have made in the last day or two. Yes, I think I'm finally satiated on novels for the time being! I picked up needle and thread and started beading the background of this Priority Quilt:

Hopefully you can click on the picture to get a little bigger version to look at. Here's a detail shot just in case:

There are tiny purple seed beads in the purple areas around the heart. I haven't figured out what I'm going to do in the lower section of the quilt yet.

Ami has put out a call for Priority Quilts so she can take 1,000 of them to the big quilt show in Houston in October. I really want to get this done, registered, and sent off to her so it can be part of that group. If I thought I had it in me I would try to do another one to go with it but I think that might be unrealistic.

I'm also just about ready to move around some books. I may even bite the bullet and get rid of a few. {gasp!} I need to make room on my shelves for the binders of the books I've had taken apart and for my collection of studio journals. Currently my shelves are full of books I can't look at without making myself ill. Where's the sense in that?! I figure I'll be better off with ready access to the binders and journals (instead of tripping over them stacked around the perimeter of the room on the floor) than the tomes that I can't even open.

Because the journals I use are spiral bound once I get them on a shelf they're all going to look the same. No spines with titles, no real color differentiation. So yesterday I spent some time cutting up old business cards and wrapping them with colorful folder labels to make these tags to hang from the tops of the spirals on my journals. I think this will work.

I like the way they look like tassels hanging from the journals. I could really get carried away and decorate the hanging loops with beads too! :- )

Not So Hot

The temperatures have come down to what is normal for this area at this time of year. It's very pleasant most of the time. Gets pretty warm and humid in the late afternoons, but the mornings have felt wonderfully cool lately. Amazing what a 20* drop in temperatures will do! That hasn't helped me to be more productive however. In fact, I've all but declared myself on a reading vacation. I've been spending my time in Regency England the last several days. I may spend more time there before I try applying my nose to the proverbial grindstone again. I guess I'm hoping that if I indulge myself, reading all I want for a week or so, my enthusiasm for stitching will return. We shall see.

I've also had another run-in with toxins. I was foolhardy enough to venture into my local used book store in search of reading material one day this week.

This place used to be one of my favorite haunts. They moved to a new location and refurbished their new digs maybe a year ago. Well, the new carpet and maybe the paints and varnishes they used on the walls and shelves are still too toxic for me.

The next day my local bead shop had a one day sale and I had to go check that out.

I just bought on spec, not for any specific project. I was trying to flesh out my stash with various sizes and shapes. I have everything from size 15 seeds to 4x4 cubes here. And wouldn't I just LOVE to go to Portland for the Bead Fest?!! You betcha.

Unfortunately, those two outings in quick succession nearly did me in. Not physically so much as mentally or emotionally. There were physical symptoms but it was the depression that really took me down. (No pun intended.) I'm still trying to get up out of that pit. Hiding out in lighthearted romance novels is a pretty safe place for me to be at the moment.

To those whose blogs I regularly read and comment on - if you're reading my blog as well - I'd just like to say that I'll be back one day soon (I hope) to catch up on all that you've been doing. Right now I just can't handle the energy and enthusiasm and productivity that I so admire in others. Sometimes reading about your activities inspires me to get up off my butt and get busy myself. Other times, like now, it just depresses me further.

Time to look for a new book...

Time Out

I am suffering from a fairly severe case of cabin fever. I have not been able to make myself sew or read or do any of the things I normally enjoy doing. DH is taking some time off from work and we're going to try to get me out of this house, at least for a little while. Hopefully that will have a rejuvenating effect and I'll be back with something fun to share with you. Or at least with some enthusiasm for the things I currently have in the works...

Gettin' Closer

So I sat down this morning with a new plan for building houses, heavily influenced by Gwen & Freddy. I played in my scraps rather than with the fabrics I've set aside to use for the Birds challenge. I'm much happier with this effort. We'll see how things develop between now and the final quilt!


This has been a challenging week, and not just because of the Birds of a Feather challenge. It seems like I've had a toxic exposure every single day. Sometimes I can recover later that same day, but more often it's the next day before I feel like myself again. It gets to be a vicious cycle when you suffer one exposure after another. I spent a lot of time being a zombie, not getting anything done. Finally I just had to sew something, anything.


Thank goodness I had all those scrap patches I'd cut a while back. It was amazing how much trouble I had getting simple Shoo Fly blocks assembled though. My mind just refuses to function after certain exposures. All week my sons have been making fun of me for the odd things that have come out of my mouth. It's a real struggle to put together a coherent sentence sometimes.

We're in for some hot weather over this Fourth of July weekend. That means closed windows and/or reactions to the smoke from firecrackers and backyard grills. I only say this to let you know I may not be posting (or reading other blogs) for a few days. On the other hand, I may be surprised at how well my body copes and make more progress than I expect. One can only hope. In the meantime, I hope my fellow citizens enjoy their Fourth of July and keep in mind the reason we celebrate and those who've given so much to make it possible for us to enjoy our freedoms.

Party Hangover

You know, the worst part of this MCS thing is that I just don't learn.

The sun is shining and I was finally feeling really good again this morning. Our local bead shop sent out an email yesterday telling us all about a sale that just started. The temptation was too great. I succumbed and drove over a little while ago. {sigh} I don't need beads for any particular project at the moment. My bead drawers are so full I can barely open a couple of them. Why did I go over there???!!!


After thinking about it for a bit I realize that it wasn't that I needed or wanted to shop for beads. I just wanted to browse. I wanted to luxuriate in the rainbows of color. I wanted to dream about potential projects. It was to be a well-filling experience. Oh well. Back to the blueberries. (At least I like blueberries.)

I have been playing around with pieces I've cut for the Priority Quilt I'm making to honor Terry Pratchett but haven't yet figured out how to put it together. While that's simmering on a back burner I sewed up these Churn Dash blocks from scraps:

I've about run out of the patches I pre-cut for these blocks. I had to restrain myself to keep from using up the patches I'd cut for Bow Tie blocks. I want those to be available for leaders and enders. It would appear that I need to create a new project for myself that involves making blocks one at a time. That seems to be the way I like to work when I don't have the energy to make a lot of design decisions.

In the meantime, my friend C~ was over recently and shared a couple of things with me. This is another quilt she found in a local thrift shop. The front is made entirely of polyester double knit. I think she said that part of the back was a juvenile print flannel.

She finds the best quilts at the thrift shops! She has a yellow and white antique quilt she found once too. It only cost her $3.00 and was not damaged or soiled or anything. I'll have to get a picture of it for you.

And here's what C~ herself is working on:

She's knitting a log cabin blanket! How cool is that? :- )

Pity Party

Let me warn you that this post is about my recent adventures with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity.

On the whole I try to keep a positive outlook in spite of my affliction. Every once in a while, though, one needs to let off some steam, let her guard down, be open and honest. Today is that day. It's sort of appropriate because my last post was my 300th, and MCS is one of the reasons I started blogging in the first place.

I went to the local discount department/grocery store yesterday to stock up on some essentials (Green & Black's dark - 85% - organic chocolate, sparkling water, organic beef broth, organic unsweetened soy milk, frozen organic blueberries... none of which is cheap!). I was in that store for only 10 minutes. I know because I looked at the clock on the dashboard of my car as I was getting out of the car and then looked at it again when I got back in. Not on purpose, mind you, I just did. I couldn't believe it had only been 10 minutes, but that's all it took to ruin my day and likely a lot of today as well. I suspect the store had just had its' floors buffed or polished. Having worked in such an environment back in the day I know this happens from time to time. The front of the store wasn't too bad because the doors open and let in "fresh" air from outside, but back in the back where the frozen foods are kept it was potent. At least for me. And then at the checkout stand there was another customer and her son nearby who smelled of laundry detergent. The overly fragrant kind. (In my personal opinion the makers of Gain are poisoning people with every box they make and sell. Tide is another culprit.)

I made a point of going to the store early in the day so I could avoid as many people - and their fragrances - as possible. What I ended up doing was destroying the rest of my day. From that point on I was a zombie. I put my Priority Quilt in the envelope for shipping (and now I have to find someone who can take it to the Post Office for me), and the rest of the day was spent mostly losing solitaire games on the computer. Oh, I did order four paperback books to read but they won't be here for another week at least. I wanted to order Gwen Marston and Freddy Moran's new book but I don't dare. There's no way I'll be able to read or even look at it without getting sick. Not unless I have someone take it all apart and put each page in a page protector. And then the whole lot will have to go into an old, already off-gassed, three-ring binder, probably 3" thick. {deep sigh} But at least I could look at the pretty pictures and read what they have to say. Oh well. I can, in fact, live without it. I'd just rather not have to.

My local quilt guild is having their annual spring retreat this week. The last couple of years I've made a point of driving over to poke my head in to see everyone again and see what they're making. I doubt I will go this year. Two exposure episodes in one week is enough (the art show and then yesterday's trip). In the past the building where they hold the retreat has been safe enough for me but I learned, the hard way, that there are hand lotions out there that are dangerous. Hand lotion! While I was visiting last year (the year before?) someone in my vicinity casually applied lotion to her hands. I had to leave immediately or I wouldn't have been able to get myself home at all.

So what, you ask, are the symptoms I experience after an exposure? The list is quite lengthy. And not every chemical creates the same reactions. Generally I know I've run into something toxic from the way my sinus cavities feel. That's the first alarm bell. Sometimes I can actually detect a fragrance or odor but that has become unreliable. My olfactory senses have been burned out in some cases and I can no longer smell certain smells. I may feel lightheaded or woozy. I may just have an overall feeling of nausea. I may notice that suddenly I can't keep a thought in my head or find the words I want. I turn into a stammering idiot (no offense to those who suffer from speech impediments) - or at least that's how it feels.

I confess to driving my car when it probably wasn't safe for me to do so. My judgement becomes impaired in subtle ways. Often it's not until I get home or run over a curb that I realize I probably shouldn't have been driving. However, it's usually the only way I can get home.

I have discovered that if I eat a custard cup of frozen organic blueberries as soon as possible after I've run into something toxic it mitigates the reaction. Not always, and not very much sometimes, but it does sometimes help. The headache that develops after exposure will not be as severe for example. Headaches are the big kahuna of reactions. For me anyway. They do not respond to aspirin, Tylenol, ibuprofen or any other over the counter analgesic. The only thing that removes a headache is something that puts me to sleep (and I don't think the headache actually goes away in those circumstances!). I have a very intense, dull headache this morning after yesterday's escapade. That's almost 24 hours after the event.

I also suffer from chills after an exposure to toxic fumes. Nothing I can do will warm me up. I get grouchy and short tempered. I'm restless but can't think well enough to sew or read or do anything. Or I can't stay awake at all and sleep for 12 hours straight. I engage in retail therpay online. I play countless games of solitaire. I overeat the few things I'm allowed to eat. It's just a spinning wheel of pain and discomfort everytime I try to go out and be a normal person, and then I come home and try to cope.

The tail end of the cycle is depression. At least I've learned to recognize that that's what it is. When I start to feel depressed I know it's almost over. And I remind myself that the thoughts going through my head are not true, not real. They are the result of the toxins I was exposed to 12 or 24 or 36 hours ago. It still amazes me that mere fumes can make a person react on an emotional, sub-conscious level. That is perhaps the most frightening reason to demand that manufacturers remove toxic chemicals from the products most people use every day. Never mind that there are known carcinogens in those products as well and that people are dying from more kinds of cancer than ever before. Honest to Pete, people, prevention is the cure. For everything.

Sad Dog

Reilly went to the groomer the day before yesterday. He came back too toxic for me to be around. I already had arranged for him to spend a few days with DD this weekend so DH and I could spend our 25th wedding anniversary sans chien. (DH isn't a big fan of dogs. Or cats. He's allergic to animal danders. And pollen and dust and mold... We're like Jack Spratt and his wife: He can't handle naturally occuring allergens, I can. Chemicals don't bother him but nearly kill me. Of course.) All I had to do was find someone who could take him until DD could pick him up. Fortunately that only took a few phone calls.
Unfortunately, poor Reilly didn't have a clue what was going on.

I don't think I've shown you this pillow I made recently, using up some scraps of fishing related prints:


Of course I had to put this on the back!

I also finished up the Broken Dishes doll quilt I'd been working on (after deciding to keep the Spare Change flannel doll quilt for myself!). Made a quickie pillow to go with it too.

There are a couple more food blocks to show you, and I've started work on that Friendship top that's been hanging in my way for years, but right now I need to get off the computer and pack a lunch so DH and I can go out to the coast! :- )